relaxing before a long journey: Releasing the Past and Embracing the Unknown


There’s something uniquely bittersweet about leaving home. It’s not just packing a suitcase or boarding a plane; it’s stepping away from everything familiar—both the good and the bad. It’s walking away from the memories and the people, the places that have shaped you, even when some of those memories are painful. It’s about saying goodbye to the heaviness that lingers—hurt, loss, addiction, and even death—and finding space to breathe before a new chapter begins.


As I prepare to leave, bound for Toronto, I’m feeling the weight of all that I’m leaving behind. Home is where we’re supposed to feel safe, but sometimes, it’s where the deepest pain resides. Over time, I’ve watched people I care about struggle with addiction, seen the finality of death take its toll, and experienced the heartbreak of wounds that never seem to heal. Carrying all of that with me has made life heavy. Too heavy.

So, this journey to Toronto isn’t just about a physical trip; it’s a brief pause before I embark on something much bigger—a journey into the unknown, traveling across the USA full-time yet again. I know I need to let go of the sorrow and the hurt, and I need to release everything that’s been pulling me under for so long But how do you relax when the noise of the past is so loud?


Letting Go Before Takeoff

As I sit here, bags packed and ready, I realize that relaxing before a long journey isn’t just about taking deep breaths. It’s about acknowledging the emotions that swirl within me and allowing them space to be. It’s okay to feel the grief, the pain of watching loved ones spiral into addiction, and the sorrow that comes with loss. I need to honor those feelings before I can move forward.

I’ve learned a few things about how to do this before a big transition, and as I wait for my flight to Toronto, I’m reminding myself of these small rituals of release:

1. Breathe Deeply and Ground Yourself

The simplest and most powerful tool is your breath. I close my eyes and take deep, steady breaths, feeling each inhale fill my body with calm and each exhale release the tension. With each breath, I imagine letting go of the memories that weigh me down, even if just for a moment.

2. Write It Down

Writing is a form of release. I take out my journal and write about the things I need to leave behind—the pain, the anger, the grief. Somehow, putting it all on paper makes it feel more manageable, as if I can leave those words behind, grounded in ink, while I fly free.

3.Feel the Grief, But Don’t Let It Consume You

There’s nothing wrong with grieving what you’ve lost, whether it’s people, dreams, or parts of yourself. I remind myself that it’s okay to feel the sadness of watching people I love struggle with addiction. It’s okay to mourn the death of those who've touched your life. But as I sit in that grief, I also remind myself that I’m allowed to find peace and joy again.

4.Visualize the Road Ahead

As I prepare to board the plane, I focus on what’s ahead: not a new beginning, but an open road. Toronto is just a stepping stone, a brief pause before the real journey begins—one where I’ll be traveling full-time across the USA. I picture myself exploring new landscapes, meeting diverse people, and embracing whatever the road throws my way. It's not about settling down, but about letting life unfold in its own unpredictable, beautiful way.

5.Create a Goodbye Ritual

Before leaving, I take a moment to say a quiet goodbye to the parts of my life that no longer serve me. This doesn’t mean forgetting or denying what I’ve been through, but it’s a symbolic gesture of release. I close my eyes and say goodbye to the pain, the addiction that has touched the lives of people around me, and the grief that has felt so ever-present. In this goodbye, there’s a sense of freedom.


In the Air: A Moment of Suspension

Once I’m on the plane, there’s something about being in the air that feels symbolic. It’s a space between two worlds, between my past and my future. Up here, above the clouds, the weight of everything I’m leaving behind feels a little lighter. I look out the window and watch the landscape beneath me fade, replaced by a vast expanse of sky. The world is so big, and my problems feel smaller in comparison.

In this moment of suspension, I allow myself to relax fully. I listen to music, close my eyes, and let the hum of the plane lull me into a state of calm. I focus on what I’m gaining: not just a temporary destination in Toronto, but the freedom of the road ahead. The limitless possibilities waiting for me as I drive across the United States, discovering new corners of the world, and more importantly, discovering myself along the way.


Toronto: A Brief Pause Before the Unknown

When I land in Toronto, it won’t be the end of the journey. It’s just a rest stop, a moment to catch my breath before I head into the vast unknown. My heart is set on the road ahead, one filled with adventures, uncertainty, and the thrill of living life on my terms.

The journey I’m embarking on—full-time travel across the USA—is not about finding a place to settle down; it’s about embracing the freedom of not knowing what’s next. It’s about releasing the pain and hurt of the past, the weight of addiction, and the grief of death, and allowing myself to be fully present in the experience of being alive.

As I take my first steps in Toronto, I remind myself that this is only the beginning of a much larger journey. One where the destination doesn’t matter as much as the journey itself.

This trip isn’t just about moving from one place to another—it’s about learning to release the past, embrace the unknown, and let the road take me wherever it wants. I’m ready for whatever comes next.


Leaving home is never just about the physical act of going. It’s emotional, mental, and spiritual. Before embarking on a long journey—whether across the country or into an entirely new phase of life—it’s important to pause, reflect, and release. Only then can you truly embrace the open road ahead, no matter where it leads.


With an abudance of love,

Brittany

"Leaving home is not just a farewell to a place, but a release of everything that shaped you there—the joy, the pain, the growth. It's the quiet, bittersweet goodbye that frees your heart for the journey ahead."